Trash Rankings (Indisputable)
Took a day off from cleaning today, but we’ll hit you hard and fast with some official trash rankings for the next time you’re out on the town looking to clean some garbage and grow your network. These rankings are, of course, indisputable, and any suggestion otherwise is false and simply incorrect. We’ll lead you off with the GOAT trash to clean:
- Plastic Water Bottles/Gatorade Bottles
Easily the best trash to clean. Almost impossible to find a gatorade or Poland springs bottle that’s nasty. Sometimes you gotta dump out the water or gatorade which is not everyone’s cup of tea, but overall it’s pretty sterile, lightweight, easy to pick up and feels good because you just saved the Earth from experiencing microplastics. Go brag to your friends about that one.
2. Aluminum cans
There should be a 2a/2b dynamic going on here, with the 2a being cans that are not beer and the 2b being cans that are beer. In fact, the 2a’s have a strong case to be in the #1 category because they’re almost never disgusting and also sometimes you find some cool ones like the 2010 South Africa World Cup can pictured somewhere on this blog (not yet inserted, get over it). Also cool was the 1994 NYR Stanley Cup can I found crushed in the woods awhile back. That one was fresh as fuck. Something else cool is with the old cans especially you find the triangle openings in the top which is some vintage shit. Dragging down aluminum cans in these rankings are the existence of beer cans, which are nastier to pour out and have flies lurking around and always come in bunches. I’m looking at you, Modelo.
3. Glass Bottles
These ones take the 3 spot because while not nasty, they get heavy real quick. One or two is not bad but when you find a spot with a billion glass bottles in immediate succession the weight can add up quick. If you lift like me it’s no huge deal but in the spirit of looking out for all of my regular trash cleaners out there glass bottles are not ideal to clean in bunches. Also not ideal are broken glass bottles for very obvious reasons, and the not so obvious reason that they routinely slice the bag up in a big way. We want to keep spillage to a minimum in the trash cleaning game. (Did you know, before plastics were mainstream a major environmental concern was glass waste everywhere? Specifically bottles. Source: my uncle)
4. Food trash
Goes without saying. Ages poorly and smells bad. It’s lucky to just find a plastic container or McDonalds Mcnuggets box somewhere. When you have someone who only knows how to finish half a meal it’s even worse. Flies everywhere, once again smells straight up weird, can get heavy, nasty to the touch, there are many bad aspects to food trash. Makes sense when you think about it. This should be a very intuitive pick at this point in the list. The one positive is that it’s organic so if you just find some standalone food you can probably leave it and let nature do the rest. Worst case scenario is when it’s on/in some kind of container that needs cleaning.
5. Sauces
Worse than just your average food trash, sauce trash is disgusting. People leaving those fast food sauce packets all over the place half opened. People leaving those little dipping containers half open full of tartar sauce and other weird shit. Just any kind of sauce trash is nasty. Always smells the worst, always the worst flies, clean it up in the first place you disgusting savages. We hate sauce trash more than we hate terrorists.
6. Dog shit
This is the worst of it. I don’t even bother cleaning these. People leave those cheeky bags right off the side of the trail like every single person on Earth doesn’t know what’s in there. How am I supposed to enjoy my walk in the woods with this going on?? I understand that the bags are “biodegradable” but this is nasty. If you have a dog you have a responsibility to clean up after it. Funny because most of the other trash we find is at parks near cities etc. where there is a lot of population density and all that, but all the bags of dog shit are in parks by towns that are absolutely loaded. So you can afford a billion acres but not clean up after your dog huh. And all these families have dogs too. About as nasty as it gets.
If you enjoy these blogs, you may also enjoy my IG which is theregrowthproject. If you want to support the mission of cleaning even more trash, you can cop gear at theregrowthproject.com. Thanks for reading and thanks for your support of good ol’ planet Earth.
