Grand Canyon: By the Numbers
So you want to go to the Grand Canyon. Perhaps you’ve heard of it via word of mouth. Or perhaps you’ve seen it referenced in a movie. No matter the situation, it’s my solemn duty to you to demystify it into a digestible format for all those out there who may want to visit.
First and foremost, we bring you the canyon #ByTheNumbers. In today’s statistically driven world, how could you possibly calculate your vacation in advance without the facts?
Park Size: 1,218,375 Acres. No joke. A conversion to Square Miles brings us to 1,904. Rhode Island clocks in at a cool 1,214 square miles and doesn’t even have the designation of a National Park. Not only is that weak, but it’s embarrassing.
Length: 277 “River Miles.” My gut tells me that this measures not straight end to end length but rather the distance traveled by following along the Colorado River at the bottom. This is approximately 25% longer than the distance between NY and DC. If that doesn’t get you excited to visit, I don’t know what will. Many dudes out there very jealous of this length, won’t name names.
Width: Minimum at Marble Canyon — 600 feet. Haven’t seen in person but something tells me this is the literal first part of the canyon. Average width 10 miles, max width 18 miles. Talk about wingspan. Compared to other canyons, the GC has measurables like Kawhi Leonard.
Depth: Average 1 mile. This is only 1/7 the depth of the Mariana Trench, so kind of bitch made. Can’t be first at everything. Having said that, curious how so many poets, philosophers and authors get credit for being “deep” yet the Grand Canyon is never mentioned. Biased much?
Volume: 5.45 trillion cubic yards. More cubic yards than Bezos’s fortune by a long shot. Equivalent to
(5.45 trillion (cubic yards)) / (1 US gallon) =
1.10075844 × 10¹⁵
Gallons of milk. That’d make for some strong bones.
Average Sunrises per Annum: 365. Talk about consistency. “The best ability is availability.” — Brian Dawkins
Next up in the batters box we’re talking wildlife. Everyone wants to talk about what animals they saw, but nobody wants to talk about how many. For all my volume shooters out there, here’s the numbers you need to know.
Birds: 450 species. At least one of them is teal and at least one of them is nearly extinct. You do the math.
Mammals: 91 Species. Humans….included?
Fish: 18 Species, 5 Native. Fish are presently getting out hustled by invasives but the big 5 are still going strong. Still time for a comeback.
Reptiles and Amphibians: 58 Species.
Invertebrates: 1,443 species. 292 of which are butterflies and moths. All of which are spineless. The other 1k and change must all be insects? I’m out of my depth here.
Exotic (non-native) animals: 27 species. If you’re looking for exotics, you can do better. Cali is right up the road.
Total head count: In total we have 2,087 species packed into to only 5.45 trillion cubic yards. Incredible diversity. Some of the cool ones via google images will be depicted below.
Other fun statistics to know before you go:
- 1,747 Vascular Plants
- 4 Endemic Plants
- 208 Exotic Plants (Please note: NOT exotic Herb)
- Years Old: 70 million. Current oldest person on Earth: 118. Not even close baby
- Native American Tribes Associated with GC: 6
- South Rim gift shops: at least 3
- # of classified structures: 874 listings (yes, a convoluted statistic)
- # of trails: 62 “hard” trails. Implies a larger number of total trails.
- Miles to Newark, NJ: 2398.5. “All roads lead to Newark.” — Anonymous
- Current # of bus routes in service: 5 (for seasoned adventurers only)
For those of you out there previously hesitant about the idea of visiting the Grand Canyon, I hope this article has been helpful. The above statistics have been provided to be a direct comparable to other vacation spots. For example, Las Vegas has more gift shops, but has been around for less than 70 million years. I trust that each and every one of you can discern which attributes are more relevant to you and make an informed decision from there.
Note: many people would tell you that the statistics “don’t matter” and that the GC is a “bucket-list spot,” that you “have to go there at least once in your life,” or that “vacations are about the memories you make.” Hey pundits: life is about more than experiences. Try opening a spreadsheet for once in your lives.
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