Alright Falls
Pretty cool picture up there, no? Called Great Falls, on the Potomac River on the border of Virginia and Maryland. I would definitely say that these are some of the best rapids out there without question. They even designated this place as a National Park. So far, everything sounds pretty peachy, does it not? In truth, it really is pretty great — if you love being around an absolute mob scene of people breathing down each other’s necks to enjoy some admittedly beautiful nature.
In Yellowstone, you might see herds of elk, bison or wolves crossing the picturesque plains in search of whatever it is these animals search for. In Glacier National Park maybe you’ll see mountain goats hanging onto impossibly small ledges in search of a nice morning snack like it’s no big deal. Down in the Everglades, you may way to stay in your vehicle for fear that a gator might chase you down in a sprint and chomp off your leg. In Great Falls, however, you’ll see absolute mobs of hunched over, mouth breathing homo sapiens cramming onto each other with their pet dogs to watch a waterfall from 1 of 3 outlook points before they go back to the visitor center or buy a “Cali Burger” from the food truck. A Cali Burger is just a burger but branded as such to bring to mind the west coast.
Great Falls also faces the recurring problem of repeated human death from going in the river. Yes, Great Falls kills people. Not so great after all, huh? In an article published on August 10, 2013, in the Washington Post
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/special/local/the-perils-of-great-falls/
the author notes that “Since 2001, 27 people have died in river accidents in the area, including 3 since June.” Three since JUNE??? That’s once every two WEEKS?? Were these people wearing life jackets??? “Few wore life jackets,” somberly quotes the author. My heartfelt condolences to all those who have lost their lives to river accidents in the Potomac, but 1 is too many. And you can’t convince me that these people were completely faultless either. Rule #1 is don’t go too near the big waterfall with the warning signs. In what other National Park are people so routinely reckless that they risk their lives just to get a little more up and personal with an already spectacular feature? (Wait, Yosemite? People climb that thing without a harness?? Are you kidding me??)
Editors note (myself after doing more research): As it turns out, Great Falls, nor Yosemite, is even in the top 10 deadliest NPs in America. Sounds like a blog for another time.
Anyways, it’s time we move on from the myth of Great Falls being “Great.” If we’re being realistic, it’s really more Alright. It’s undeniably a very cool waterfall with some cool geologic history or whatever. But it’s a total mob scene of the most suburban (bland) humans you may find anywhere. There’s not much open real estate or great hiking in the Baltimore/DC area. These are people who are used to suburban and urban living. This just so happens to be the greatest natural feature within a 30 mile drive. And it’s telling that you barely see any of the visitors of this park on any trails besides the outlook points. Try getting outside once in awhile people. Semi-related, but I hate DC and will happily let my bias express itself in this article. Far too many traffic cameras and lizard people.
Below are some useful links about the spot:
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https://www.instagram.com/theregrowthproject/
Thanks for reading and hopefully I’ll get back to doing these regularly.
